Friday, September 25, 2009

An Ode to #CSR reporting

Some people accuse us CSR Reporting pros of lacking creativity, fun, humour and wit. I guess that's because of the really really boring CSR reports that we write year after year. I am all in favour of dispelling this myth, and to prove it, i offer you the following Ode to CSR Reporting: 

CSR is not simply a game
Or a way to stop critics and blame
For stakeholder support
Just write a report
It's your route to success and to fame

A report is a way to explain
The csr work you maintain
If you've nothing to say
Report it anyway
Don’t expect anyone to complain

A CR report's a foundation
For building trust in your corporation
If it doesn’t quite work
And you feel like a jerk
You can always go on vacation

Three thousand reports every year
Show reporting is quite a sincere
Attempt to expose
The cons and the pros
Of the ethics to which you adhere

You can choose to report GRI
Indicators on which we rely
Don’t forget the index
Of all the subjects
No data? We'll turn a blind eye

Carbon footprint is key to disclose
GHG's averages highs and lows
If emissions increased
And offsets decreased
The numbers you can just transpose

On diversity you shouldn’t fall short
Women managers you must support
There are none on the Board
By the CEO they're ignored
But on that you don’t have to report

If you want your report to attract
And encourage stakeholders to react
Make it very very long
This can never be wrong
Length does from the content distract

Your report of course you must assure
Credibility so as to ensure
But if this costs too much
A very nice touch
Is to make all the language obscure

Your report you should publish online
With a swishy interactive design
They'll think you are cool
Over your report they'll drool
This year, you won't need to resign

To sum up, reporting is attainable
CSR is totally explainable
Do not be deterred
Follow the herd
It's your passport to being sustainable!

(PS: I deliberately left Chunky Monkey out of this Ode, just in case you think i am a little obsessed. Well, actually, you try finding something to rhyme with chunky monkey....)

elaine cohen is the joint CEO of BeyondBusiness, a leading reporting and social-environmental consulting firm . Visit our website at:
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