How can you tell a real Sustainability Report from a fake Sustainability Report?
- Check to see if it was written by Jackie Collins. If Jackie Collins is the CSO, it's real.
- Read the first page. If you want to continue to the second page, it's fake.
- Check to see if it contains the words "This is a real Sustainability Report". If yes, it's real.
- Subscribe to the CSR Reporting Blog - if the CSR Reporting Blog says it's real, it's real.
- 20 pages: 1 page introduction, 15 pages of brand info, 4 pages of GRI Index.
- 150 pages: 10 pages introduction, 100 page of brand info, 40 pages of GRI Index.
- Depends on whether each page contains content.
- 365 pages. One for each day of the year.
- People instantly believe everything that's written.
- Accounting firms earn tons of money.
- It stops people actually reading the report while they are trying to figure out what the assurance statement actually means.
- It's a great excuse for not taking responsibility for errors and omissions.
- Next to the medicine cabinet (stocked with Advil).
- In the dentist's waiting room (it will make toothache seem like heaven).
- On your bookshelf along with great classics like Alice in Wonderland. There are similarities.
- Next to the rest of your company's marketing brochures.
- Yes. Why stand out from the crowd?
- Yes. The GRI stats need a boost.
- Yes. People will think your report is impressive even before they read it.
- No. Why make it easy for stakeholders to navigate the report?
- All of them. It means Definitely Not Accountable.
- All the ones written by PR companies.
- All the ones who know what DNA stands for.
- All the ones who have imposed genetic testing on all employees as part of their Sustainability Strategy.
- Plagiarize. Only Crane and Matten will notice.
- Use a pencil. Easier for erasing all the stuff the lawyers tell you to take out.
- Copy-paste from last year. But don't forget to change the dates and add new photos.
- Hire the best Sustainability Report writer available. Hint. Me.
How much money should you invest in producing your Sustainability Report?
- $100,000 to produce it. $100,000 to pay people not to read it.
- Check the ROI. How much additional sales revenue do you expect to generate as a result of people reading your Sustainability Report?
- More than last year. Even Sustainability Reporting is subject to inflation.
- Less. Find a fabulous Sustainability Reporter who will give you a very reasonable price. Hint. Me.
Is an Integrated Report better than a separate Sustainability Report?
- Yes. It will make you instantly popular in global financial and investment circles.
- No. Sustainability information will be overshadowed by financials. OK. Make that a Yes.
- Yes. Putting all your eggs in one basket saves baskets.
- No. Integrated reporting is the result of integrated thinking. This means you will have to think.
What is the main benefit of Sustainability Reporting?
- Ice cream sales increase when people write reports.
- Sustainability Reporters have lots of fun. Hint. Me.
- Sustainability Reporting has become a prominent industry sector contributing to global financial prosperity. This is your opportunity to make a contribution.
- Sustainability Reporting ensures that your business is totally transparent, which means that all stakeholders are able to make informed decisions and can decide to criticize, boycott or tell Greenpeace about your company.
Happy Sustainability Reporting in 2012 :-)
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