21 ways to make your Sustainability Report stand out from the crowd

Inspired by this post on Geenbiz.com entitled  "I published my CSR Report. Where's my media coverage?", in which  Elin Nosewski offers some tips about how to get noticed by reporters and bloggers - mainly focusing on the report content, I thought I would offer some tips of my own on how to make your Sustainability Report stand out from the crowd. Here they are:

1. Call it iReport 4s. Everyone will queue for one.
2. Write it in Latin or Ancient Greek. You will easily capture all the very very very old people who read Sustainability Reports.
3. Include pornographic pictures. Porno is the most viewed content on the internet. Every second, 28,528 internet users are viewing pornography.
4. Have your CEO present it to Financial Analysts and Investors over breakfast in a London Hotel. They won't understand but they will enjoy the croissants.
5. Have your VP for Human Resources write the introduction. Now, that's original. That's how Lloyd's Bank did it in 2009.
6. Have the CSR Reporting Blog mention it in The Top Ten Reports of the year. (No-one one has been able to afford this, yet, but you could be the first.)
7. Print your report on virgin paper, destroying 347 Amazon Forest trees, and send it using the postal service to thousands of stakeholders. Greenpeace will make such a campaign about this that no-one will fail to notice your report.
8. Win a CSR Reporting award. That's how Vodafone does it.
9. Gamify it. That's how BT does it.
10. Write it in Braille. 39 million blind people will love you.
11. Turn it into multiple-choice test. It will be used in school syllabuses all around the world.
12. Offer an iPad to those who provide feedback. That's how OneSteel does it.
13. Offer a luxury weekend in Hawaii to all those who are prepared to use the weekend to read your report. Don't worry, only 4 people will respond. Your mom, your dad and your 2 kids.
14. Send out a Presss Release saying you have published a Sustainability Report. (OK, this is not a serious entry.)
15. Add disposal instructions on the back cover. Something like: Please dispose of this report in an environmentally responsible manner before you read it.
16. Fit it all into one webpage. This is how AHA! does it.
17. Use a sexy waitress to deliver it to male executives. See how Heinz does it with Ketchup.
18. Publish it on the web, then Digg it, Stumble Upon it, Slideshare it, Facebook it, Google+ it and Tweet it. Again. Once more. And again.
19. Employ a blogger relations specialist and create a bloggers corner blog. This is how SAP does it.
20. Make it all in videos. This is how Burt's Bees does it.
21. Accidentally on-purpose, call it your Annual Report. The entire financial world will love it! And financial journalists will rush to scrutinize it.

elaine cohen, CSR consultant, Sustainability Reporter, HR Professional, Ice Cream Addict. Author of CSR for HR: A necessary partnership for advancing responsible business practices  Contact me via www.twitter.com/elainecohen  on Twitter or via my business website www.b-yond.biz/en  (Beyond Business, an inspired CSR consulting and Sustainability Reporting firm)