Thursday, April 9, 2020

An Ode to Reporters in CoronaWorld

As the world is in lockdown and the meaning of sustainability has truly hit home, thousands of reporting professionals around the world are battling against all odds to complete and publish their current Sustainability Reports. First and foremost, the CSR Reporting Blog wishes everyone good health! We hope you are all staying safe, staying home and staying optimistic. And if you are challenged to deliver your Sustainability Report at this time, here's a little Ode to Reporters in CoronaWorld everywhere:

Oh dear, oh my, I don’t know what to do
It’s the height of reporting season and ours is now due
We’re creating a CSR report designed to inspire us
But now, it seems, our report has the virus

So what should we do when we all are in lockdown?
Not publishing now would be such a letdown
I’ve tried to energize the team to engage
But we can’t even get past the title page

Our data collection has gone up the spout
To stakeholders, there’s simply no reaching out
The CEO is not interested, she’s in bed with corona
Even the printer has run out of toner

Reporting is hard when we’re social distancing
Our case studies suddenly don’t seem so interesting
No-one is really quite up to the task
Reporting’s not easy when you’re wearing a mask

Corona they say mitigates climate change
Even though it’s not great for the stock exchange
When it’s over, the planet may have been saved
But if we’re still solvent, I’ll be quite amazed

So what should I do with our sustainability report?
Go ahead anyway or decide to abort?
If only working virtually were not such a pain
It seems that everyone has locked down their brain

I called GRI, SASB and CDP
But whether to report none can agree
Which is hardly surprising as you all know
When defining materiality, consensus is no-go

I thought I’d get help from TCFD
As corona is saving the planet you see
With no flights, no travel and consumption is capped
Maybe their guidelines can now be scrapped

So stressful, so trying, this virus is awful
Even visiting my mom is now not lawful
As always a solution to stress is ice cream
Preferably injected into your bloodstream

Our company is closed, our offices shut
At least I can get by without a haircut
But even if we don’t manage to hit the deadline
"Delayed by corona" will be good as our tagline

So come on reporters, keep your spirits high
It’s time to prepare the copy and verify
With everyone working from home in their room
You can publish your ESG report on ZOOM

elaine cohen, CSR consultant, Sustainability Reporter, HR Professional, Ice Cream Addict. Owner/Manager of Beyond Business Ltdan inspired Sustainability Strategy and Reporting firm having supported 107 client reports to date; author of three books and several chapters on Sustainability Reporting and the Human Resources connection to CSR; frequent chair and speaker at sustainability events and judge in several sustainability awards programs each year. Contact me via Twitter , LinkedIn or via Beyond Business     
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