Santa Claus Inc. 2020 ESGC Report

I am delighted to present a preview of Santa Claus Inc.’s ESGC (Environmental, Social, Governance and COVID) Report for the year 2020. As in past years, Santa has kindly allowed me to share her annual disclosure to all stakeholders, ESPECIALLY investors, and hopes that everyone, ESPECIALLY investors, will take a keen interest in how Santa has made a positive contribution to sustainable development; health and wellbeing; diversity, equity and inclusion; biodiversity; reducing water stress; economic prosperity and oh yes, what was that again, climate change. 

Dear Stakeholders, ESPECIALLY investors, 

2020 was a very challenging year. I am proud of what we have achieved so far, but there is much more to do. Oops. Scratch that. 2020 was the crappiest year ever, and the thought of sliding down chimneys in a face shield and splashing myself with sanitizer after every home visit continues to fill me with dread. In fact, I am so full of dread, anxiety and depression that that I have taken to consuming a snack before bedtime, in the hope that this will boost my sugar levels and regulate my hormones. Now, much more of me is full of dread as I have gained 130 lbs. in weight over the past year and I have needed to order Santa suits two sizes bigger. Due to mobility restrictions, I was not able to go to the fittings, so I had a team of elves take my measurements and send them to the Santa tailor. Unfortunately, the elves were already high with festive spirit and now it looks like I am wearing red swimsuits with furry white trim. 

Just as so many things moved to Zoom in 2020, I considered sending out all my Christmas Gifts via Zoom this year as well. However, I quickly realized this would not be possible as my Zoom account has been suspended on account of repeated offenses to their content policy. All I ever said was that I believe a harmonized ESG reporting system is not the Holy Grail that will save people and the planet, and boom, I was bumped from Zoom, LinkedIn and Facebook. Fortunately, I can still express my views on Instagram, where posting images of suckling reindeer babies, Sustainability Report covers with smiling children holding the globe and elves wrapping Christmas gifts are still allowed. Even if the elves are wearing Accountants will Not Save the Planet T-Shirts. 

Anyway, on to more positive things, as ESGC Reports must not be too depressing, or our entire financial system will collapse. Let’s start with our COVID-19 Response. 

COVID-19 Response 

Of course, no self-respecting ESGC Report can omit the obligatory COVID-19-we-are-the-greatest section. At Santa Claus Inc. we have maintained a business continuity plan for several thousand years, and in 2020, we dusted it off and put it into play. Of course, when the plan was written, there was no internet, no iPhone 12, not even an iPhone 1, no Tesla cherry-red Roadster for fast intergalactic travel and no electric reindeer. Of course, there were far fewer people on the planet needing gifts, so the overall workload was manageable. Our Business Continuity Plan (BCP) consisted of just two elements (1) Form a Task Force and (2) Make the Task Force continue the business. In 2020, we upgraded our BCP and it now includes three elements: (1) Form a Task Force and (2) Make the Task Force continue the business and (3) Make them wear masks. 

PPE: In 2020, we quickly converted our gift-wrapping factory to a PPE production station for the benefit of elves and their families all around the world. During this period, we donated to the Global Elf Association more than 2.3 million reusable face masks designed specially to fit typical elf facial features, including a special reinforced middle section to prevent piercing by those little elfy upturned noses. Unfortunately, this middle section also seriously hindered elf respiration, and to this day, we are not sure if the 34,763 elves who passed away were sick with COVID-19 or simply suffocated. We subsequently modified our design to ensure the masks are elf-safe and we even included a designer label. 

WFH: In March 2020, we instructed our elves to work from home. To facilitate this, we had to rehome many elf migrant workers who had no home to work from. This was a significant challenge but with help from Habitat for Elves, we were able to appropriate 342,202 elf homes. Unfortunately, this meant displacing the entire population of Iceland which has now moved to Mexico in the hope that the new Biden administration will reverse the immigration ban. In the meantime, we have equipped the new elf homes with all necessary PPE and conducted more than 300 Wrapping Gifts while Wearing Masks training sessions. In the early days we found many gifts that were wrapped with disposable masks while elves were seen with wrapping paper covering their mouths and noses. Oops. Another 26,458 elf fatalities. 

Social Distancing: During 2020, we practiced social distancing as guided by the WHO, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and local Lapland regulation. This has been particularly hard for our reindeers, fun-loving beings who enjoy close relationships and work well in teams. Several reindeer suffered from hypertension and can now work only under sedation. Fortunately, we had enough foresight to stockpile Xanax before lockdowns started and were able to calm them all down. However, due to social distancing, our annual reindeer sleigh-pulling training was conducted virtually and was probably less effective than classroom training events. Once back at work, we planned a practice sleigh journey from Riisitunturi National Park to Pyhä-Nattanen. I think some of the reindeer were wearing masks over their eyes as we ended up in Finland, a reindeer migration destination that they can reach blindfold. All was not lost, however, as all the people of Finland received their gifts early, a large contributor, we believe, to Finland consistently being ranked as the happiest country in the world!

YOM: As you might expect, all our elf communications were conducted via Zoom starting in March 2020. We held a special all-elf mandatory unmuting training session because Santa got so sick of hearing You’re On Mute (YOM) that she wrote a special letter asking Zoom to remove the mute button from our Zoom Plan. Regrettably, Zoom was not able to do this, so we persevered. Today, I am pleased to report that we have how replaced YOM with a selection of phrases such as WCHY (We Can’t Hear You), UY (Unmute Yourself), Is your Microphone Working (IYMW) and Has the Cat Got your Tongue (HTCGYT), as well as some less publishable phrases. Now, we eventually get to hear all the elves, although, in fact, some of them should probably remain on mute their entire lifetime anyway. 

Diversity, Equity and Inclusion 

In a year when the pandemic brought racial and social justice to the fore, and exposed the systemic inequities in our society, we at Santa Claus Inc. rose to the challenge of creating a world of reduced inequalities (SDG 10). To do this, we decided to establish a gift means test, and apply an inclusive equity formula. Therefore in 2020, everyone will receive a gift just like they always have done. Except some people will receive bigger gifts than others. Additionally, we upgraded our Plan for Elf Equity (PEE) to empower diverse elves. We formed several Elf Affinity Groups which have been a great success, including: 

Elf Out: For LGBTQIA elves 

Elf In: For elves who are not yet out 

ELF Self: For elves who are rather introvert 

ELF Healf: For elves who want to live a healthier lifestyle 

ELF Women: For elf women who want the same rights as elf men 

ELF Men: For elf men who do not want to share their rights with elf women 

ELF Shelf: For spinster elves 

ELFO: For Hispanic elves 

ELF Vets: For elves who have passed their veterinarian qualifications 

Finally, this year all elves were trained in unconscious bias, conscious inclusion, and subconscious consciousness. We can now affirm that 100% of elves are conscious. Although this was probably due to our ban on medical-grade cannabis, which, after it was legalized, became the staple elf diet. 

Climate Resilience 

As always, Santa Claus Inc. continues to endorse the Precautionary Principle, support climate change mitigation, and advance a circular economy. For the first time this year, we are publishing our disclosure in line with the Task Force on Climate-related Financial Disclosures (TCFD) framework. Here it is:

 

Governance: Our governance of climate risks is overseen by our Board of Directors which has assessed our key risk to be extreme weather patterns that destroy the world’s chimneys, making it impossible for Santa to continue her good work. In order to govern this effectively, the Board has established a Chimney Hole Integrity Mapping Program (CHIMP) to monitor chimneys affected by hurricanes, earthquakes, snow blockages and brick-melting high temperatures. The CHIMP Committee reports on the status of our climate resilience to the Board every year. 

Strategy: In order to effectively assess and develop our climate-risk strategy, we created 1.5, 2 and 2.5 degree scenarios based on guidance from the IPCC. In each scenario, the result was the same: the Santa Retirement Fund needs significant inputs in order to protect Santa’s heritage and long-term ice cream supply. You can donate to the Santa Retirement Fund by clicking on this link. 

Risks: As mentioned, our key risk is chimney integrity, and the CHIMP Committee ensures we have mitigation or alternative plans in place. For example, in China, we use hydraulic rising rickshaws to access homes. In Venice, we now access homes through underground water channels. In the U.S., we have engaged a Chimney Repair Service that is on call 24/7 over the holiday season, staffed by millions of people who lost their jobs during the pandemic. We have also patented our new Santa-safe climate-proof chimney, made from 100% post-consumer recycled organic waste, that was tested in Turkey, Mexico, Iran and Alaska during 2020 earthquakes in those countries. The chimney retained its form and function and was commercialized this year. Unfortunately, the new factory we built to manufacture the Santa-safe chimney was destroyed by an earthquake, so availability is currently restricted. 

Metrics: Chimney integrity is our key metric. In 2019, it was 98.8%, unaffected by climate change. The only issue we found in a small percentage of chimneys was a concentration of combustible deposits, meaning that when Santa slides down the chimney, her posterior may set alight. This is not such a problem for Santa, as it could help burn off those extra pounds gained during COVID-19. 

Transparency, Reporting, Disclosure and ESG Metrics 

In 2020, we have been watching on the sidelines in the Metrics Wars as the Big Galactical Powerhouse Forces of ESG Metrics wage battle against the Resistance for the Greater Good of Sustainability Impacts in the fight between, on the ESG side, double dynamic materiality, interoperability and an international governing authority for sustainability reporting that would aim to make disclosures consistent, comparable and decision-useful for investors, and on the Greater Good side, accountability for impacts on people and planet and delivering the SDGs. The apparent subordination of sustainability disclosures to value creation in the ESG Metrics camp, value that is intended to trickle through to all stakeholders (excuse me while I retrieve my eyeballs), does not sit well with those in the Greater Good camp. 

At Santa Claus Inc, we take a simple view. We believe that sustainability reporting is about people not about numbers. Well, it’s also about elves and reindeers. And it’s about the gifts we give to our billions of clients that make them superhappy every festive season. And it’s about the accountability we willingly accept as an organization to ensure we live up to our values and the principles of sustainable development. 

We conducted a little bit of stakeholder engagement on our own, to inform our next double triple single sustainability materiality assessment. We asked our reindeer if they believe that a consistent standard for investor-useful ESG metrics will ensure the biodiversity required to maintain their food supply for the next 50 years. We asked our elves if a more robust universal standard for ESG metrics would ensure they are paid a living wage so they can secure their grandkids’ future. We asked our clients if they felt that a better standard of ESG metrics would ensure they receive good quality gifts, not manufactured using child labor or unsafe working conditions and not using tons of excess packaging materials. And we asked reporting companies if they felt the proposal to create a new IFRS-led Sustainability Standards Board would continue to ensure global ice cream supplies for reporters everywhere. In all cases, the response was outstandingly "errrrrr duh". Then we asked our Board of Directors if they are prepared to disclose ESG metrics against a single new investor-useful reporting system. Their response was: What’s ESG metrics? 

Unwilling to remain at the mercy of all those who think they can monetize sustainability and force-fit sustainable development into capital market competitiveness, we decided to be proactive. We have created a new blueprint sustainability reporting standard that we will publish in early January as a public good. We call it the Santa Claus Regenerative Enterprise Worldwide Interoperable Transparency standard (SCREWIT Standard) and it will be freely available to all in return for a small donation to the Santa Retirement Fund. The Standard contains 468 metrics covering every possible impact ever invented and embeds value creation metrics against the six capitals:

• Elf Capital
• Reindeer Capital
• Santa Capital
• Santa Capital
• Santa Capital
• Everything Else Capital 

It also includes sector standards, country standards and SME standards as well as an optional annex for companies who want to use SCREWIT for PR purposes only. We believe the SCREWIT Standard will usher in a new age of corporate transparency that will respond to investor demand for consistent, comparable, reliable sustainability information that will be entirely auditable by the Big Four and rankable by ISS, MSCI and Sustainalytics. In this way, SCREWIT supports SDG 8 by leading to the creation of thousands more jobs in the disclosure sector. 

SCREWIT will also provide a basis for engagement with regulators, activists and NGOs such as Greenpeace, Amnesty International and the Access to Ice Cream Foundation. The SCREWIT taxonomy will incorporate technical screening criteria for all sustainability metrics and will prioritize anything to do with Santa wellbeing (which is the ultimate public good). SCREWIT will be administered by the Global Overseer of SCREWIT Standards (GLOSS) which will be a multi-stakeholder body comprised of Santa Claus and allies. 

We are fully expecting all global reporters to adopt SCREWIT. In fact, the interoperability of SCREWIT makes it extremely compatible with other standards, if they survive. For example, you can also use other standards by including an appropriate content reference table, for example, SCREWIT SASB or SCREWIT GRI or even SCREWIT IIRC. The versatile, comprehensive SCREWIT Standard will revolutionize corporate sustainability reporting and finally deliver a tool that will enable us to save the planet and make more money. In this way, Santa Claus is taking the politics out of disclosure by putting it back into the public interest. To incentivize the unconvinced, all new early adopters of SCREWIT will receive a free prize: a coaching session with GRI on how to recruit CEOs. 

Feedback on this Report 

We will be happy to receive your feedback on this report, as long as it's positive. For those of you who are unable to create your own feedback, you can use this short poll: 

Please select the response you feel is most appropriate (multiple responses accepted) 

Isn’t this the best report you have ever read? 

• Yes
• Yes
• Yes
• Who reads reports?

So, until we Zoom again..... 

 We Wish You and Everyone in the World 

(especially INVESTORS) 

a Happy Holiday Season and a Happy New Year 

 🎄🎄🎄🎅🎅🎅🎅🎅🎅🎅🎅🎅🎅🎅🎄🎄🎄

elaine cohen, CSR consultant, Sustainability Reporter, HR Professional, Ice Cream Addict. Owner/Manager of Beyond Business Ltd, an inspired Sustainability Strategy and Reporting firm having supported 119 client reports to date; author of three books and several chapters on Sustainability Reporting and the Human Resources connection to CSR; frequent chair and speaker at sustainability events and judge in several sustainability awards programs each year. Contact me via Twitter , LinkedIn or via Beyond Business

Santa Claus Inc. 2017 Harmonized Report

It's that warm fuzzy, jingle-belly, goodwilly time of the year again when we preview Santa's annual ESG disclosure. Santa has been reporting now for almost 2,000 years. It's amazing how Santa manages to keep reporting fresh, relevant, topical and most of all, impactful. Just like all those other companies that report year after year. Check out Santa's prior reports:

🎅Santa's 2016 Material Topics Report
🎅Santa’s 2015 SDG Report 
🎅Santa's 1750th Sustainability Report 2014
🎅Santa's First G4 Comprehensive Sustainability Report 2013 
🎅Santa's First Integrated Financial and CSR Report 2012
🎅Santa's 1,747th 2011 Annual CSR Report
🎅Santa's 1,746th 2010 Annual CSR Report
🎅Santa's 1,745th 2009 Annual CSR Report

Santa Claus Inc. 2017 Harmonized Report

🎅 Leadership Message 🎅

Dear Stakeholders,

I am delighted present you once again with Santa Claus Inc.'s annual disclosure of everything related to sustainability, making the world a better place, saving the planet, improving the quality of life, especially mine, and improving the impacts of business in society. In the true Christmas spirit of goodwill, sharing and joy to all women, men and children, I have decided that this should be a harmonized report, encompassing the best of all the sustainability frameworks that we know in one seamlessly blended, uniquely jargon-ridden, multi-platform report that will meet the demands of investors (YAY! Love investors) and all other stakeholders, unless they blink. I know this is venturing into ground hitherto uncharted by humankind and that, despite years of harmonization hype, aligning frameworks has never been anything more than a smokescreen for different organizations to pursue different dreams and funders. But Santa has always boldly aimed to go where all Santa lookalikes and CSR Managers have never trodden. I am therefore delighted to share our harmonized account of our value-creating, investor-ready, multi-stakeholder driven 2017 sustainability net positive impact report on all our capitals in all their resplendent transparency. 

2017 was not a particularly harmonious year for Santa. Troubled by fallout from Climate Change, Trumpification, Brexitisation, Falsefactsification, SDGification of every problem known to man (and woman), and the fact that Santa has STILL not been invited to appear on the Ellen DeGeneres show, for the first time in more than a century, we did not hit our quadruple net profit target. In 2017, we grew toy-distribution value only by 563% and profits increased only by 99.5%, making this a year in which Santa had to tighten his belt. In fact, Santa tightened his belt so much that he was rushed to Grey Sloane Memorial Hospital ER where Meredith Grey had to perform an emergency heart transplant. The problem was finding a heart big enough to hold all Santa's love for the children of the world, which simply wasn't possible. Therefore, as Meredith is so creative and resourceful, she transplanted Santa's heart with four new hearts, making Santa even more loving, generous and positive-spirited than before. As a result, Santa immediately ordered double toys for all the world's children, which caused a further drop in profits and heart failure in three of the four new hearts. To resolve this problem, Meredith fitted 3D printed hearts to replace the failed hearts and created a medical history phenomenon in the process. Santa is now charging a special Santa Heart-4-Heart Viewing fee payable to the "I Love Santa " Fund and has raised $4 billion to date.  In addition, Santa has created a "Perform Emergency Heart Surgery on Santa" Donation App, modeled on a similar educational app, and this has already been downloaded more than 2 million times. The moral of this story is: Watch Grey's Anatomy. You can never have too many hearts.

But 2017 did bring some nuggets of optimism. On Sept. 4, Kensington Palace announced that Prince William and Duchess Kate were expecting a sibling for Prince George and Princess Charlotte. That makes three toddlers who now require special Santa gifts. Santa loves the Royal Children, though finding toys for such privileged children is always a headache at Christmas. In 2017, Santa decided to be true to the Chopra Center's Law of Giving and Receiving where it says: Each time I meet someone, I will silently wish them happiness, joy, and laughter.  So, this is what Santa is getting for the Royal Children this year and for the Royal siblings en route. And let's not forget of course that Prince Harry has announced his entry into show business with his engagement to Meghan Markle, so no doubt the pitter-patter of tiny feet will be sounding through more corridors of the royal residences before long - so silently wishing them happiness, joy and laughter will be a smart strategy going forward. But in fact, the betrothal of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle is a tremendous commercial opportunity. Already you can buy incredible Harry and Meghan merchandise online and in all the best stores. This is brilliant. Santa, never one to miss a hint of profit potential, is now thinking of announcing his own marriage in order to be able to sell Santa Wedding Memorabilia. Santa doesn't want to get married, so this is a double opportunity. In a few months' time, we can announce Santa Wedding Cancellation Memorabilia. The Royal Family is always a good source of inspiration.

Also in 2017 we decided to renew our mission and values. Here are the old ones we developed in 2011.

Mission

To perpetuate the love of Santa

Values  

Faith in Santa

Disabled-Access Chimneys

Elf Emancipation

Reindeer Rights

Children's Universal Right to Gifts

Santa World Domination 

In the interests of brevity, we have decided to reduce our values to two.

Values  

Santa World Domination and Sustainability
Santa World Domination and Sustainability

In this way, we can use our new values to more effectively guide us in our mission and enjoy all the fuzzy feelings that are generated when people hear us talking about sustainability. From now on, focusing on Santa World Domination means that we will no longer be at the mercy of Reindeer Freedom Fighters, Elf Emancipation Activists or Teresa May's Brexit negotiation strategy. In fact, as a result of the UK Brexit vote, we have moved all our toy assembly centers out of the UK and transferred them to other parts of the Eurozone. If you are a kid in the UK, you will now receive toys saying "Fabriqué en France" or "Hergestellt in Deutschland" together with a language pack for reading the instructions in another language. But don't worry, all the carbon emissions generated by long-hauling toys across Europe will be offset by funds generously donated by Berlitz.

Santa's Materiality Matrix

In this 2017 harmonized report, we have recreated our new materiality matrix, recognizing that our GRI, SASB, IR, Future Fit and UNGC Reporting framework must now appeal to shareholders, stakeholders, landholders, smallholders, cardholders, freeholders, pen-holders, upholders and with-holders. As a result, we completed a deep-dive materiality process, starting with a thorough scan of the entire universe of sustainability topics using advanced data-mining algorithms powered by Datamaran, and this yielded a list of 3,564 relevant topics for consideration. After 23 elf and reindeer focus groups, and of course our assumptions about what's important to our stakeholders, we managed to whittle this down to just 4 topics that represent our most material impacts on the world and the most significant assumed concerns of stakeholders, and taking into account the SDGs as well. These are:

• Santa's well-being
• World happiness especially in Lapland
• Elimination of everything bad in the world including hunger, poverty, sickness, lying, cheating and Santa counterfeits
• Free distribution of money to everyone who needs it especially Santa

Based on this list of material topics, we have formulated a new Sustainability Strategy. It's quite a simple one. It's Santa-centric. If Santa is not at the center, it doesn't count. We will progress actions that advance Santa centricity and provide solutions to the material topics above. An initial step will be to build a wall around Lapland to restrict immigration of unwanted elves and then we will declare war on a few countries. In this way, we will make beneficial Santa Domination far more sustainable for current and future generations.


New Year's Giving - the UNGC Way
From 2018, we have adopted a new approach to giving, modeled on the super creative UN Global Compact new plan for 2018. As you may know, the UNGC is now offering two new ways of confirming support for the largest global responsible business initiative. You can become a new-style first-class Participant and pay lots of money, or you can become a second-class Signatory and pay less lots of money. What you cannot do is stay as you are and pay no money. This is a wonderful approach to giving. All the 8,000 plus business signatories of the UNGC will now have to pass on a part of their bank balance to the UN account or be reduced to oblivion, wiped forever off the face of the UNGC website. Santa thinks this is a wonderful approach to giving for 2018. Therefore, effective next year, those who are eligible to receive a gift from Santa will first have to register as a Receiver or an Observer. As a Receiver, you get to pay lots of money and receive a toy that you can play with anywhere you like. As an Observer, you get to pay less lots of money, you get a toy but you are not actually allowed to play with it outside your own home. If you do not register, and/or do not pay money, all the gifts you have previously received will be removed and destroyed and you will never get them back. This is a modern way of spreading the Christmas spirit and enables everyone to enjoy the goodness in the world, for a fee. In this way, Santa will be able to continue to enjoy the lifestyle to which he is accustomed and the UNGC will continue to be able to hold conferences and meetings and have a blast on Black Friday.

New App for iPhone X: SantaPay
All of us here at Santa Claus Inc. have been impressed with the development of Apple Pay. Apple Pay transactions are becoming exceedingly common, and parting with your money has never been easier. Having discovered the benefits of Apple Pay, Santa saw a clear opportunity to develop a way for people around the globe to painlessly support world salvation, environmental sustainability and Santa Domination. With the new Santa Pay app specially designed for iPhone X, no matter what you buy or where you buy it or from whom, a portion of your payment goes directly to the Santa Retirement Fund. In an unprecedented mega-deal with Apple, all sales of the new iPhone X will contain a special spiritual Santa Pay message, advising the new iPhone X owner that all toys purchased this Christmas through Apple Pay will automatically create a double transaction, whereby the equivalent value of an additional toy will be debited in parallel to Santa Pay. Sums accruing to Santa Pay will be delivered to the tax-free Santa Retirement Fund, which, in 2017, reached a total of $932 billion, enough to fund the acquisition of a private island in the Caribbean so that Santa can live out the remainder of his days in peace and harmony. Unfortunately, due to climate change, the island Santa had in mind is now partly submerged in the Caribbean Sea. In addition, therefore, to stocking up on mince pies and Hallmark Christmas movie DVDs to enjoy during his retirement, Santa is investing in land reclamation technology, a desalination plant and several snorkels. 

A new Santa Blockchain Initiative
As the blockchain economy is starting to gain ground, Santa has been considering how best to leverage blockchain for the benefit of children everywhere. Unfortunately, blockchain is so complex that Santa hasn't quite got to grips with it yet. His first attempt to create a blockchain failed when the block fell off the sleigh and the reindeer ate the chain. The second attempt was equally unsuccessful. The block was chipped and the chain slipped off and got caught around Santa's ankle, causing him to fall and break three bones in his foot. As a result, the Santa Claus Inc. Lost-Time Injury rate tripled in 2017 (The incident in which fourteen elves were found dead following a fire in the toy factory was not recorded in 2017, as there was some doubt as to whether the cause of death was actually the fire, or a suicide pact among senior elves. Elves were protesting against distribution of bitcoins instead of real toys at Christmas, reducing the need for toy assembly, quality control and distribution and therefore reducing several elf jobs. Despite attempts to reassure the senior elves that job security would not be affected by the introduction of bitcoins, many elves suffered severe depression and set fire to both the factory and themselves. However, Santa was not overly worried, as the elf headcount has now reduced sufficiently to avoid significant layoffs in 2018.)

According to Santa, bitcoins are the new toys, and children of the world can collect bitcoins and trade them, thereby offering children great flexibility and choice for their personal entertainment and leisure time while having a positive impact on the environment. Unfortunately, the first 500,000 bitcoins distributed were triple-traded by cryptocurrency-savvy kids who circumvented the blockchain. This resulted in the market being flooded with invalid bitcoins and ultimately crashing - reducing the value of all bitcoins to little more than zero. Many bitcoin traders lost their jobs, their homes and their dignity. Several bitcoin trading houses closed down and the U.S. federal government intervened with a massive bailout. People were evicted from homes they bought with bitcoins. A senior commentator likened this to the economic crisis of 2008 and blamed greed, excess and selfishness.

Santa was initially devastated but eventually realized that bitcoin fraud is simply another capitalist scam that forces people to realize that family, friends, love, harmony and joy to the world are actually more important than amassing great virtual wealth. Therefore, Santa reverted to supplying real toys distributed by real elves and real reindeer to real kids in the real world. Of course, he kept a few bitcoins back for himself, just in case. Bitcoins and blockchains may be a little before their time, but Santa plans to be ahead of the game when they come back to dominate our economy.

Reporting on the capitals

As this is a harmonized report, we include a special feature for the very first time, covering our impact on the capitals. We are not entirely sure that this is a sensible way to report performance, nor does Santa think it represents a consistent way of presenting value creation. However, as modern, forward-thinking, good-life-appreciating stakeholders like to talk in capitals, we decided to fall in line. 

Financial Capital: This represents the financial value we create for our shareholders and communities. Of course, as you all know Santa Claus Inc. is a form of social enterprise because we perform our main function of disseminating joy in the world through the toys we provide for children free of charge. Therefore, we do not have revenues, we do not pay taxes and we do not manage working capital or cash flow. Indirectly, we contribute to improving financial capital by making people happy. Happy people are more motivated at work and therefore make more money for the world economy. 

Manufacturing capital: We do not have any manufacturing capital as all the toys we distribute are manufactured by someone else. Our elves do some toy assembly work, but this is mainly reserved for elf interns who we do not pay. In lieu of payment, all interns are treated to a personal meeting with Santa each year and can include working at Santa Claus Inc. on their resume, thereby significantly enhancing their future employability.

Human capital: We do not have any human capital as all our work is performed by elves and reindeer. We did once think of hiring humans but most did not want to relocate to Lapland, and several did not have chimney sweeping skills. The value we create in terms of human capital at a global level is indirect: through the educational toys we distribute to children, they become more intelligent, well-rounded individuals that have enhanced potential to make the world a better place. Of course, we do have a plan to stop distributing toy rifles, fidget spinners and waitress uniforms.

Social and relationship capital: Our social and relationship capital is expressed in the positive partnerships that Santa forges with toy suppliers everywhere in the world. Santa's ability to persuade toy-makers to contribute their goods for free every year represents an unprecedented level of social capital that results in happy kids everywhere. (Except for the ones that asked for iPhone X's in their Christmas stocking. Even Santa draws the line at toys that retail at more than $1000).

Intellectual capital: We don't have intellectual capital and frankly we don't need it. In any case, we aren't entirely sure how to measure it. We just continue to spread joy and goodwill - for that we need a big heart and not a very big brain. Santa did once consider joining MENSA but they refused to approve his application after he responded "ice cream" to the question: "What is the most important food on earth that no-one can live without?"

Natural capital: Our impact on natural capital is minimal. Over several years, we have reduced our carbon footprint through use of renewable reindeer power for our sleighs, low-methane diets for our reindeer and carpooling for our elves. We only use water from recycled melted local Lapland ice and we recycle all our packaging and other organic waste. Our bathrooms use dry-flush and our faucets are metered. Therefore, our natural capital is hardly noticeable and there is nothing terribly interesting to disclose.

Ah well, so much for reporting on all the capitals. I am sure you found that very enlightening. Not. However, at least we cannot be accused of not joining the integrated reporting revolution rumor.

Business development - Santa diversification
In 2017, Santa developed several new business lines designed to ensure the Santa brand continues to be top of mind and top of credit card. A few of our new sustainable business lines are just getting started:

Santa Eco Spa and Relaxation Resort: Relax in an authentic, elegant, secluded getaway on Santa's private eco-island in the Caribbean. Immerse yourself in nature in a fully carbon-offset environment where the locals pamper to your every need (unless you are sparing with the tips). Whether you are looking for a sumptuous spa experience, expansive green golf courses, exhilarating tennis, visits to a live volcano (don't forget to buy insurance) or spending a quiet evening watching Hallmark Christmas movies on DVD, Santa's Eco Resort has something for you. Santa personally greets each guest and models the latest Santa fashions for you to purchase for your next Christmas Party.  

Santa Cookies: Lose weight with a new line of delicious Santa Cookies that reverse the metabolic process of calorie burning in your body. Instead of gaining weight, Santa's cookies actually cause the reverse effect - the more cookies you eat, the more weight you lose. The cookie has been developed by an army of Santa elf scientists and nutritionists after years of dedicated research in an attempt to fulfill the most wished-for Christmas gift - getting slim. Now, with Santa's Cookies, available in a range of flavors (charcoal, sour milk, toad's finger, bat droppings), you can consume cookies till you burst and still be able to slip easily into last year's skinny jeans. With recipes under patent, Santa's Cookies will revolutionize weight loss and finally put an end to the growing obesity epidemic that has been plaguing the first world since McDonald's invented fries and food companies learned to drown food's natural flavor in sugar.

Santa in Shondaland: Santa has signed up to star in two new Shondaland series: How to Get Away with Murder while you are Delivering Toys and Santa's Anatomy. Both will air in 2018, and while we are not allowed to share any spoilers, suffice it to say that the first is a storyline about Santa delivering toys to the White House, and the second is X rated.

Sexual Harassment - Santa under fire
Like most of today's male celebrities and prominent political figures, Santa too has been under fire for alleged sexual misconduct. Following a complaint by a (now retired) female elf of inappropriate personal contact and sexist language by Santa, a further 4,534 female elves have now registered complaints with the Santa Ethical Conduct Authority for misconduct between the years 1843 and 2013. Santa maintains that he has the highest respect for all his elves, male and female, and has no recollection of any inappropriate behavior on his part. Santa apologizes if any of the elves got the wrong impression at any time as he would never wish to offend. Litigation is ongoing but in the meantime, Santa expects to continue delivering toys and making children happy. He is hoping that, if he continues with business as usual, it will all just go away. The fact that the new hashtag #MeToo:Elf is trending on Twitter might indicate that this strategy has some holes in it.

Safety first: toys we delisted this year
In an ongoing effort to ensure the toys Santa distributes are safe for all children, we have taken bold steps to delist the following toys from our distribution this year:

• Motorized alligators with moving jaws and real teeth (423 toddlers now only have nine fingers)
• Doctor sets with real opioids (the grown-ups kept playing with it)
• High-flying drones with magnifying photo lenses (too many complaints from neighbors who left bedroom curtains open)
• High-bouncing trampolines (85 toddlers reported sighted in outer space) 
• Build the Eiffel Tower with matchsticks construction kit (Eiffel Tower kept burning down during construction)

Diversity in the Workplace
This year, Santa introduced a new approach to diversity in the workplace. Neurodiversity is a competitive advantage  says the Harvard Business Review. Neurodiverse people bring different considerations to the workplace and seriously boost innovation. When looking for neurodiverse elves, we found that we had to adapt our regular recruitment procedures. Now, instead of having elf candidates take a multiple-choice test, similar to the GRI Standards Exam, which is a pretty useless predictor of their ability to perform Santa's outstanding work, we actually get to know the neurodiverse elves and encourage them to feel welcomed and express themselves freely. So far, we have recruited 4 neurodiverse elves and they are already making a positive contribution and we were delighted to feature in Diversity Inc.'s list of top 500 neurodiverse workplaces for 2017. In fact, we are now considering expanding our neurodiverse recruiting practices to all potential elf employees. Perhaps there might be some advantage in seeing all potential employees as individuals rather than as numbers on a resume. You never know. We can only try. 
 

Recognition from our Stakeholders 

As usual, this year, we received far more awards than we are able to mention in this report. Suffice it to say that the most welcome ones included a cash payment to the Santa Retirement Fund.

Feedback on this Report 

We will be happy to receive your feedback on this report, as long as it's positive.

So, until we meet again.....

We Wish You and Everyone in the World a Happy Holiday Season and a Happy New Year 

🎄🎄🎄🎅🎅🎅🎅🎅🎅🎅🎅🎅🎅🎅🎄🎄🎄

elaine cohen, CSR Consultant, Sustainability Reporter, former HR Professional, Trust Across America 2017 Lifetime Achievement Award honoree, Ice Cream Addict, Author of three totally groundbreaking books on sustainability (see About Me page). Contact me via Twitter (@elainecohen) or via my business website www.b-yond.biz (Beyond Business Ltd, an inspired CSR consulting and Sustainability Reporting firm). Need help writing your first / next Sustainability Report? Contact elaine: info@b-yond.biz 

Elaine will be chairing  the edie Conference on Smarter Sustainability Reporting  in London on 27th February 2018 

Happy Holidays to all our Readers

At this time of year, we usually wish the CSR Reporting Blog readers a traditional greeting as the holiday season approaches. The CSR Reporting Blog is grateful for your readership and your engagement. Thank you for another year in 2017 of interesting conversations about sustainability reporting and for much inspiration. Dr. Sustainability, the Blog, I and myself would like to wish all readers and sustainability practitioners a wonderful Holiday Season and a Happy New Year!

And to all our readers with new un-housetrained puppies... Crappy New Year
And to all our readers with newborns... Nappy New Year
And to all our readers who take photos.... Snappy New Year
And to all our readers with long ears.. Flappy New Year
And to all our readers who liked the Heinekin Sustainability Video.. Rappy New Year
And to all our readers who never shut up.. Yappy New Year
And to all our readers planning to consume a combination of solid food ingredients that have been cooked in liquid and served in the resultant gravy .... Happy Stew Year
And to all our readers who have decided that honesty is best....Happy True Year
And to all our readers in a Picasso period .... Happy Blue Year
And to all our readers who didn't get vaccinated.....Happy Flu Year
And to all our readers who believe in humanity ..... Happy Ubuntu Year
And to all our readers who love coniferous trees and shrubs in the genus Taxus .... Happy Yew Year
And to all our readers  who plan on sticking together .... Happy Glue Year
And to all our crossword-loving readers.... Happy Clue Year
And to all our readers who love a good cuppa ... Happy Brew Year
And to all our readers who mourn for Imelda Marcos's footwear collection, now eaten by termites .. Happy Shoe Year
And to all our readers planning on attending Wimbldeon next season ..... Happy Queue Year
And to all our church-going readers ..... Happy Pew Year
And to all our readers who are fond of small mole-like mammals classified in the order Eulipotyphla ..... Happy Shrew Year
And to all our readers with an identity crisis ...... Happy Who Are You Year
And to all our diarrhea suffering readers ..... Happy Loo Year
And to all our melted cheese loving readers  ...... Happy Fondue Year
And to all our readers with the best dog in the world (like ours) ....  Happy New Cavalier

And to all our readers who enjoy the third most popular drink overall after water and tea ..Happy New Beer
And to all our duke, marquess, earl, viscount, and baron readers .. Happy New Peer 
And to all our readers who are preparing a first Sustainability Report this year... Happy New Fear
And to all our readers planning on disseminating negative propaganda .. Happy New Smear
And to all our readers planning to spread good spirits ... Happy New Cheer 
And to all our readers planning to buy a new manual car.. Happy New Gear 
And to all our readers who contribute to the community.. Happy New Volunteer
And to all our determined readers ...Happy New Persevere 
And to all our sad readers .. Happy New Tear 
And to all our ecosystem enthusiast readers.. Happy New Biosphere
And to all our readers acquiring a new male bovine animal .. Happy New Steer 
And to all our nostalgic readers ... Happy New Yesteryear 
And to all our readers in the construction business...  Happy New Engineer
And to all our readers returning from vacation .. Happy New Souvenir


And finally, to all our readers planning to transition to a fantastic, dynamic, uplifting, always-challenging, world-changing, positive-impacting, ultra-rewarding job in sustainability reporting ...

Happy New Career  

elaine cohen, CSR Consultant, Sustainability Reporter, former HR Professional, Trust Across America 2017 Lifetime Achievement Award honoree, Ice Cream Addict, Author of three totally groundbreaking books on sustainability (see About Me page). Contact me via Twitter (@elainecohen) or via my business website www.b-yond.biz (Beyond Business Ltd, an inspired CSR consulting and Sustainability Reporting firm). Need help writing your first / next Sustainability Report? Contact elaine: info@b-yond.biz 

Elaine will be chairing  the edie Conference on Smarter Sustainability Reporting  in London on 27th February 2018  

Speeky Engleesh 3

It's been a while since I posted on the charms of translated Sustainability Reports.  Check out:

Speeky Engleesh ? and

Speeky Engleesh 2.

Now, here's Speeky Engleesh 3. 

As I have said before, it's the content that counts, and wobblies in translation are not always easy to avoid. I do not judge a Sustainability Report on the quality of its English translation and I am truly appreciative of companies who make the effort to produce their reports in English, enabling me and many others to read them. When I look through the GRI Disclosure Database, I am always so disappointed that so many companies publish only in their home language. Of course, I can't fault them for that, really, but, as a geek, I'd like to be able to read those reports too. For example, in one sector, the Household and Personal Products sector, of 32 reports published in 2017 in the database, just 50% are standalone sustainability reports in English. In the Automotive sector, I counted 69 2017-published reports in the database of which just 26 (38%) are standalone sustainability reports in English.

Translation oddities often lend a certain charm to a report and they make me smile. That's all part of what makes reporting so sticky for us reporting geeks. The reporting world would be far less fun if every Sustainability Report were translated perfectly. 

In sharing some of my reporting-chuckle-moments this time around, I asked myself whether it was fair or proper to name the companies. After all, it's only a translation, right?  It's not substance. Local stakeholders, who read reports in their local language, are not distracted by poor English. I answered myself that, well, in the spirit of the CSR Reporting blog's mission to help improve reporting, and in line with my practice of referencing reports for all sorts of reasons, there's no reason not to name names in this post. Even the finishing touches of translation and design are part of the reporting process. Presentation, while not substance, plays an important role. But, in the end, I decided not to name the names of the eight reports the quotes below are drawn from - from different countries and sectors. After all, providing a translation is going the extra mile and I am grateful to companies who do. Still, maybe you can identify one of the quotes below from your report and you can work it out. Maybe you know that your report is translated and you should take another look. If you really want to know, you can always drop me a line. Either way, although I love a chuckle, I would counsel companies who translate their reports to invest in professional proofing in English. Perhaps it's a potential customer who's reading it. Or worse, a reporting geek!

Here is my chuckle-pick from recent reports. Company names and other identifiers redacted.

"The Company has a gratification practice control system that is built and developed continuously." 

"In 2016, the customer satisfaction survey stood at 82.61%, which is an increase of 4.70% from 78.9% in 2015. This proves that customer service management got better in 2016."

"XXX proceeded in accordance with the sustainable management strategy as well as risk management effectively all the whole supply chain."

"The Company gives priority to the stakeholders by considering the stakeholders."  

"The Company emphasizes to build the anti-corruption mind to management and employees as well as provide the support to its trade partners, allies, and stakeholders."

"The XXX Organisation represents the highest ideals of corporate governance and a rich value system which resonate across each of its entire area of business presence."

"XXX still hold our intention in operating business along with providing social benefits by promoting innovation and developing infrastructure that is prompt for dealing with changing."

"To develop everything to be prosperous, it is necessary to develop from existing foundation. If exiting foundation is poor or unstable, it is difficult to develop further. Accordingly, it is necessary to understand clearly that besides emphasizing on prosperity, it is also necessary to maintain foundation stably without any defect simultaneously."

"The Governance and Nomination Committee is responsible for recruiting directors by establishing Board Skill Matrix in order to consider on necessary skills that are lacked from directors and propose to the Board of Directors for approving."

"In addition, XXX also propvides some models of innovations for the ultimate experience of customers bouderlessly as follows:"

"Our compny has also retold our employees to behave themselves to be consistent with conduct, policies, and practices along with organization’s values fostering."

"XXX considers that employees are the most important foundation of the company to make the company to be successful continuously with outstanding contributions and become acceptable with outstanding knowledge and abilities in building excellent work standards for building and maintaining superior competitive capabilities."

"The company’s approach to achieving a good working climate is to create both a healthy organization and a happy workplace under the business condition requiring improvement of competitive capabilities and more challenging."

"We encourage our employees to thing independently and express their ideas."

"This will help XXX to ensure that employees are happy at work, resulting in a sense of ownership, well wishing thoughts and loyalty."

"During the year 2016, there were no criticalities emerged from the activities of stakeholder engagement."

"Our growth and sustainability and, therefore, our ability to meet our commitments to our stakeholder, are conditioned by the customer’s satisfaction"

"To reduce the so-called "abnormal" behaviour among the employees we have adopted a disciplinary code that defines sanctions in connection with possible violations of company rules on safety." 

"XXX Group assists its employees in the transition from employment to retirement, which sometimes causes problems. Since a few years it also created the “XXX Pensioners Group" to give the opportunity to the retired employees to meet and, together refresh the binding of long working life spent within the company."

"XXX tracks and summaries all international environmental regulations including hazard substances, green marks, environmental labels and so on. Relevant units report the regulatory compliance and response measures on the regularly Steering Committee (SC) meetings."

"Over 60% of our managers were local people in our major operation sites so as to practice the concept of talent localization"

"We provide timely cares and helps for employees, while enhancing our company’s productivity as well as reducing employees’ turnover rate."

"Despite having a lot of difficulties in business activities, XXX still had a certain concern on the community and society by participating in CSR campaigns."

"The above training strategy is proven to be efficient as all the new promoted person-nels are doing their jobs well and gain high appreciation as well as credibility by the clients."

"We improve our design and development ability of the product of which value can be increased and accepted as it meets the needs of the customer by our own design and technology."

"We believe that the company will sustainably grow by the important driving factor which is employees to accomplish the vision and mission targeted. Therefore, the company focuses on developing the employees at every level to be ones who have good moral and improve their skill and knowledge, including professionalism that corresponds to organizational culture to create value for themselves, organization and society as per the master plan of smart people."

"The company has encouraged employees to do good. By committing mercy on every day, monks, by invitation of the monks from the various communities around the factory to rotate around the corpse. And bless the employees It also promotes activities related to the religious maintenance. Both activities are done with external agencies. And the internal activities that the company held regularly. This will result in better staffing. And refine the mind with merit and charity, and also create a good relationship with society and surrounding communities as well."

"The company encourages employees to donate blood to the Red Cross four times a year. Because the XX Red Cross as a center Donate and serve blood. Need large amounts of blood because of the current need for more blood. Resulting from Disasters and accidents This activity demonstrates employee involvement in social responsibility."

"The Company has featured on the creation and development of corporate culture. Because it is the foundation that drives the organization to achieve its vision. And grow sustainably. It is used as a tool to manage and develop people as both good and good."

"In 2016, the Company implemented significant regulatory compliance risks"

And my absolute favorite:

"We promote our employees who are knowledgeable, potential, and smart, and have morals."

On a positive note, I will add that it was much harder for me to find examples of Speeky Engleesh this time around. My last post was in 2011. One of the reports I highlighted then, Ambuja Cement, has an impressive report in English for 2016 that is well written and seems linguistically accurate (after a brief scan).

Chuckles or no chuckles, reporting is always fun!


elaine cohen, CSR Consultant, Sustainability Reporter, former HR Professional, Trust Across America 2017 Lifetime Achievement Award honoree, Ice Cream Addict, Author of three totally groundbreaking books on sustainability (see About Me page). Contact me via Twitter (@elainecohen) or via my business website www.b-yond.biz (Beyond Business Ltd, an inspired CSR consulting and Sustainability Reporting firm). Need help writing your first / next Sustainability Report? Contact elaine: info@b-yond.biz 

Elaine will be chairing  the edie Conference on Smarter Sustainability Reporting  in London on 27th February 2018  

Dr Sustainability is back!

Dr. Sustainability has been rather busy of late, engaging with stakeholders, making materiality assessments, chairing conferences and generally enjoying life on the sustainability reporting circuit. She has once again agreed to share her perspectives in response to reader questions EXCLUSIVELY on the CSR Reporting blog. She knows that the CSR Reporting Blog is the longest running blog about reporting in the stratosphere and that it is always packed with quality insights. Good quality, bad quality, who cares, it's always quality.   

Dear Dr. Sustainability: After almost 20 years of reporting, we don't have too much left to say. We have already described our policies, approaches and initiatives. Of course, we can easily update the quantitative data, but all the rest is as it always has been. Should we now experiment with different topics to report? For example, the fact that we have organic ice cream in our dining room? Or that we have reversed our smoke-free policy in our corporate offices to ensure we get value for money from our fire detectors? Or should we simply republish our latest report with a different image on the front? 

Dear Reporter: It's true that a year happens very quickly and even if you really scrape the barrel, there is not always enough to say. However, simply republishing your last report is not a good idea. After all, you want to differentiate yourselves from your competitors, correct? (Think about it!). In my view, you could be proactive and create some content specially for your report. For example, you could rebuild your corporate head offices totally out of post-consumer recycled waste that you have collected from all your employees and local communities. This is actually a long-term win-win, because then, instead of throwing out your office waste, you can use it to construct another office.

Dear Dr. Sustainability: I heard that GRI and SASB are to collaborate on reporting standards. All SASB sector standards are to be integrated into GRI Standards and then, eventually, there will no longer be a need for a two separate organizations. I heard they are going to merge and call themselves Global Sustainability Standards Reporting Accounting Board Initiative (GSSRABI) headquartered in Amsterdam. Do you think this will help improve the quality of reporting over the long term? 

Dear Optimist: I think that's just absolutely fantastic. It's true that we need more collaboration in the sustainability reporting space. Usually, when you hear the word "collaboration", it means endless dialogue that doesn't get anywhere. At least, in this case, bicycle sales in Europe will increase.  

Dear Dr. Sustainability: We are in the process of planning our next report and we have engaged two different consultants to help us prepare it. The problem is the consultants can't agree on anything and every time one of them advises us on something, the other gives the opposite advice. How can we resolve this?
Dear Moneybags: You have two options. Only pay the consultant whose advice you choose to accept. Or, better, hire a third consultant to mediate between the existing two and decide on your behalf what is most appropriate. You may end up with a consultant-speak techno-babble report, but at least you won't be caught in the middle of consultant-speak techno-babble arguments.

Dear Dr. Sustainability: I hear GRI is collaborating with the UNGC and others to create a reporting platform for the SDGs. Do you like this approach? 

Dear Collaborator: Of course, this is a wonderful approach. Collaboration is a great thing. And another new reporting platform is exactly what everybody needs. 

Dear Dr. Sustainability: Now that GRI Standards are published, are you seeing sustainability reports of higher quality? 

Dear Auditor: Oh yes. In particular, I am seeing a lot of investment in the reporting principles. One day, there will be an investment in reporting practice. 

Dear Dr. Sustainability: My boss told me that sustainability reporting is just a phase and that it will disappear within 3 years. Should I be looking for another job? 

Dear Pessimist: Well, as the office cleaner, I wouldn't have thought this change will affect you significantly.

Dear Dr. Sustainability: I hear that GRI and IIRC are collaborating to make integrated reporting relevant to all stakeholders. Do you think this will be groundbreaking? 

Dear Stakeholder: Groundbreaking is probably not a word I would use. Backbreaking is probably closer to the truth.
  

Dear Dr. Sustainability: Why is it that sustainability reports are always about people, planet and profit? What about animals? I love animals. Why does no-one write sustainability reports that consider the needs of dogs, cats, elephants, lizards, snakes and hippos?  

Dear Zookeeper: The animal world is essential to sustainable development and many reports refer to the impact of corporations on biodiversity, wildlife, endangered species and other non-human life-forms. The problem is that pictures of wild boars and dead snakes on the cover of sustainability reports have been known to cause nightmares for the children of employees, and, in 2016, fourteen children were diagnosed with Sustainability Report Anxiety Disorder, a sickness usually only found to affect reporting managers. UNICEF has now banned animals from sustainability reports. In future, only nice photos of children and sunshine can be on the cover of reports.   

Dear Dr. Sustainability: For our last materiality assessment, it took absolutely ages to place the dots on the matrix. Every time I thought I had the right place for every dot, one of our executives or stakeholder groups decided that it should move up a little, down a little or to the left or the right. And when one dot moved, I had to move all the others. We decided on our most material topics ages ago, but it has taken 3 years just to agree where the dots should be, and now it's time for a new materiality assessment. How can I avoid the same problem in our new process?

Dear Dotty: Fix your dots down with SuperGlue. If anyone complains, fix them down with SuperGlue as well.

Dear Dr. Sustainability: I hear that GRI is looking for new organizations to collaborate with. They have exhausted collaboration possibilities with all the other organizations in the sustainability reporting space and are looking for new ways to enhance their reach. I have a small business that makes edible keyboards and I was wondering if GRI might be prepared to collaborate with me. Edible self-regenerating keyboards are a new sustainable tool for the future of work. They are organic, calorie-controlled, free of colorings, additives, added sugar and GMO ingredients and they are perfectly functioning keyboards until eaten, and regenerate themselves immediately after consumption. Using these keyboards, sustainability report writers can write, copy-paste, revise, copy-paste, send to legal and revise for days on end without ever having to leave their desk. This will have immense benefits for the speed of reporting, the productivity of reporting managers and the reputation of the firm. Do you think GRI will be open to promoting the edible self-regenerating keyboard as an essential sustainability reporting tool alongside GRI Standards?
Dear Businessperson: The edible self-regenerating keyboard certainly sounds like a worthy innovation. In fact, thank you for the samples. I gave them to a report-writer and she has already eaten 16 and she hasn't even finished the About this Report chapter. As for GRI, they may be interested. You just have to make sure that the keyboard has quick keys for standard reporting phrases. For example:

• CNTL+E: We are proud of all we have achieved but there is more to be done.
• SHIFT+K: Even in a challenging economy, we have still upheld all our CSR values and continued to contribute to the community. 
• SHIFT+P: As a customer-centric company, customers are at the center of all we do.
• CNTL+Y: Employees are our greatest asset.

Dear Dr. Sustainability: My CEO is committed to compliance but he says beyond compliance is totally an own-goal. He will not listen to reason. So all we have to report in our annual sustainability report is how compliant we are. Is it worth publishing a report? 

Dear Optimist: Compliance is a wonderful thing and your stakeholders will be comforted to know that you are compliant. You can write a great report about being compliant. You can tell compliance stories and case studies. You can take photos of your executives being compliant. You can include compliance videos. You can talk about the meaning of compliance and how it affects your organization. You can talk about the incidences of non-compliance and how you addressed them. You can reflect on the nature of compliance and the need to build a compliance culture. You can identify compliance targets and report your progress against them. In fact, there is so much to say about compliance that you will have to be careful not to make your report too long. Of course, a compliance-only report is not everybody's dream report, but you have to do what you can where you are with what you have. And you get to keep your CEO happy. He will probably be so happy that he will reward you (with ice cream) for being compliant. 

Dear Dr. Sustainability: We finished our sustainability report ages ago, but it has taken so long for our legal counsel and senior managers to approve the report that I fear it is a little out of date. Is it worth publishing a report covering 2012 in 2017? 

Dear Optimist:  Ah yes, that is a big gap. Who can even remember where they were in 2012? However, as long as you have ticked all the boxes, nobody will mind. In fact, nobody will probably even notice.

Dear Dr. Sustainability: We have a new Human Resources Director who doesn't want to listen to anything to do with sustainability. She says the role of HR Is to keep management happy and employees productive and within budget. She is not interested in diversity and inclusion, employee wellness, community involvement, green teams, living wage, work-life balance, sustainability-based bonuses, flexible working and open communications. She just wants to hire, fire and arrange company parties.
Dear Frustrated: Yes, this can be a problem with Human Resources Managers. They often can't see beyond the end of their nose. This is especially problematic if they have a very short nose. The only thing you can do in this case is try to undermine HR. Do a workaround. Convince your business managers to apply enlightened people policies and to actually talk to employees about sustainability. Eventually you will see a momentum building and employees will want to engage on matters that matter, and HR will have no choice than to respond. In the meantime, in your Sustainability Report, include statements like "our employees are our greatest asset", "our employees are our most important resource", "we are very employee-centric", and say that HR is driving a culture of caring and sharing.  

Dear Dr. Sustainability: I want to get our company listed on DJSI, as I see that many companies who are listed gain additional financial value and access to capital and generally deliver a better return for shareholders. How can I improve our position on DJSI? 

Dear Optimist: The best way to get listed on DJSI is to actually improve your corporate sustainability performance over a period of several years and systematically build your disclosure to meet the needs of the DJSI analysts. Of course, this may seem like rather a long and challenging process and it may not be worth your effort. If so, the alternative is to use the resources you would have invested in gaining DJSI listing for other purposes that will improve access to capital, such as bribing the bank manager, bribing the analysts or providing severance pay for your Chief Sustainability Officer.

Dear Dr. Sustainability: We have had a lot of feedback from employees who have read our Sustainability Report but they say that it does not represent our company. In fact, they say it's nothing like our company. They don't recognize anything that's in there. How can we resolve this issue?
Dear Stranger: Tell them not to be so narrow-minded and to use their imagination. By definition, a Sustainability Report is full of dreams and wishes and an optimistic and rosy future. You employees should link to their higher selves, explore the realms of possibility, contemplate on a heavenly work-life and consider that the report is designed to create trust in the company. How can you create trust if you actually tell it like it is?

Dear Dr. Sustainability: We love all our stakeholders, but frankly, all this engagement stuff takes time. I would much rather gain stakeholder input without having to talk to them. What are the ways I can do this on a tight budget? 

Dear Introvert: Yes, I understand that stakeholders can be a big problem. Engaging with them is every reporter's nightmare. The best way to do this without getting involved in long and cumbersome processes is simply to attend as many conferences as you can and talk to as many people as you can. Networking is the new normal in stakeholder engagement. Record all your networking conversations and publish the highlights in your report. Not only will you have a wealth of insight, you will enjoy lots of free lunches.

Dear Dr. Sustainability: We want to engage with stakeholders by holding a stakeholder round table but we don't have a round table. What should we do?
Dear Carpenter: You have two options. Get a round table (easy) or or don't engage with stakeholders (easier).

Dear Dr. Sustainability: How do you see the future of reporting?
Dear Futurist: If I could see the future, I would not be working in sustainability. I would be selling underground bunkers and oxygen masks.



elaine cohen, CSR Consultant, Sustainability Reporter, former HR Professional, Trust Across America 2017 Lifetime Achievement Award honoree, Ice Cream Addict, Author of three totally groundbreaking books on sustainability (see About Me page). Contact me via Twitter (@elainecohen) or via my business website www.b-yond.biz (Beyond Business Ltd, an inspired CSR consulting and Sustainability Reporting firm). Need help writing your first / next Sustainability Report? Contact elaine: info@b-yond.biz 

Elaine will be chairing  the edie Conference on Smarter Sustainability Reporting  in London on 27th February 2018

People Planet Play at Caesars

Over the past couple of weeks, I have been horrified (as I am sure we all have) by heartbreaking first-hand accounts of people fighting for their safety and facing the loss of their homes in Houston, Texas and the region in the wake of Hurricane Harvey. I am sure we cannot begin to understand the challenges each is facing, nor the length of time it will take for the people of the area to achieve some sort of return to normal life. Our hearts go out to all those affected.

In the corporate world, many are mobilizing to provide emergency assistance and relief to the people of the area. It is no surprise to me that Caesars Entertainment was one of the first to announce support. See this post on LinkedIn:

This doesn't surprise me because I know Caesars Entertainment to be a genuinely caring company that invests in communities without hesitation all year round and not just in times of crisis. But when a crisis hits, Caesars can be counted on. I have been working with Caesars Entertainment for several years now, supporting annual citizenship reporting and other initiatives. I have had the privilege to personally engage and interact with hundreds of team members at Caesars in the U.S. and other parts of the world, from the President and CEO and senior executives to a very wide range of individuals in diverse roles. 

Without exception, I am struck every single time by the genuine passion and deep engagement of those I talk to, and their appreciation for the caring, nurturing, inclusive culture that is easily recognizable throughout the organization. Whether it's the CEO, Mark Frissora, who places employee engagement on a par with customer satisfaction and financial performance as a fundamental tent of the company's success (check out his  welcome message in the Caesars 2016-2017 Corporate Citizenship Report), or Mary Thomas, Executive Vice President of Human Resources, who says: "Our employees want to feel that our company is contributing to a better world," or a Caesars HERO (community volunteer), or a Health Wellness Nurse, or a Responsible Gaming Ambassador, or, in fact, just anyone at all, the folks at Caesars care. So it was certainly no surprise to see that Caesars is one of the first corporations out there taking action to support fellow citizens through the trauma and devastation that Hurricane Harvey has wrought. 

Which brings me back to Caesars eighth annual 2016-2017 Corporate Citizenship Report, this time under the theme of 

People Planet Play

People Planet Play is the new way Caesars is talking about citizenship and sustainability - to employees, to guests and to all of us. It's a corporate strategic framework for planning, reporting and communicating, setting out clearly what Caesars stands for as it does business. Jan Jones Blackhurst, Caesars' Executive Vice President of Public Policy & Corporate Responsibility explains:

People Planet Play enables the organization of all citizenship themes and programs under one umbrella:

So, for example, highlights for 2016 are organized in this format.

In this report, key members of the Caesars Executive team explain how this People Planet Play framework works for them and how it aligns with the vision of Caesars business development and growth in coming years. The report is written in accordance with GRI Standards, core option. More compact than prior years, it covers all key areas of progress in the past year or so, including:

Development of science-based emissions targets: For the past ten years, Caesars has set ambitious environmental intensity targets and has steadily achieved them each year. In establishing science-based targets, Caesars joins industry leaders in respecting planetary limits with absolute emissions targets through 2050.

Continued achievements in employee wellness: The Wellness Rewards program helps employees get healthier as they get older and in 2016, another year of strong participation enabled Caesars 50,000+ employees in the U.S. to feel well, save money and enjoy life. 

Ongoing leadership in Responsible Gaming: This is a core element of citizenship at Caesars, and has been for more than 25 years when Caesars developed the first industry efforts to address problem gambling among guests. Caesars continues to demonstrate leadership wherever it operates so that people who choose to take part in gaming activities can have fun doing so and know that help is at hand if this is not the case. This report includes major strides to advance responsible gaming in the UK where Caesars operates several casinos, as well as ongoing activity in the U.S.

Economic and social contribution in communities: Caesars has established strong ties within all the communities that host its properties, and makes a significant economic contribution. In addition to the >400,000 hours of community service that Caesars volunteers invested in their communities last year, Caesars distributed more than $9 billion of economic value to its stakeholders. A third-party analysis shows that contributed value by Caesars (wages, taxes and corporate giving) was almost three times the estimated average of U.S. corporations. 

Taking a public stand: As usual, Caesars doesn't shy away from speaking up for justice.  Whether it's on policy relating to LGBTQ rights or taking a stand against human trafficking, Caesars voice is where it counts. Gwen Migita, Vice President, Sustainability & Corporate Citizenship puts it like this:

(By the way, if you are heading to Singapore in September by any chance, come and join us at the Asia 2017 Sustainability Reporting Summit where Gwen will be speaking on embedding a culture of citizenship and the People Planet Play framework.)

Finally, who said sustainability reporting is not fun? Caesars 2016-2017 Citizenship Report also gives you the opportunity of a chance to win two nights at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas. Just by completing a super fun crossword.

Check it out, follow the instructions and you could be waking up to breakfast in Nevada. But even if crosswords are not your thing, I recommend you taking a look at this report from a clear citizenship leader in the gaming-entertainment-hospitality industry. There's much more in there that I have been able to mention in this post. As usual, send your feedback!

Disclosure: As you probably realized, I worked on this report (as well as on Caesars' prior four reports).  It's always a pleasure and honor to work with Caesars. But shucks, that makes me not eligible to enter the draw for the crossword prize.

elaine cohen, CSR Consultant, Sustainability Reporter, former HR Professional, Trust Across America 2017 Lifetime Achievement Award honoree, Ice Cream Addict, Author of three totally groundbreaking books on sustainability (see About Me page). Contact me via Twitter (@elainecohen) or via my business website www.b-yond.biz (Beyond Business Ltd, an inspired CSR consulting and Sustainability Reporting firm). Need help writing your first / next Sustainability Report? Contact elaine: info@b-yond.biz 

Elaine will be chairing the Asia Sustainability Reporting Summit in Singapore on 19-20 September 2017 and the edie Conference on Smarter Sustainability Reporting  in London on 27th February 2018